Turning the other cheek

Matthew 5:38-40 (NIV) ³⁸"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'³⁹But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. ⁴⁰And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.  

Every Christian experiences situations in which they have the difficult task of "turning the other cheek".  Besides this passage in Matthew, there are many, many scriptures that teach us that we are to forgive others.  There are also scriptures telling us that God is the one to deal with evil.  Christianity is not a faith that includes vigilante justice.  

Turning the other cheek is not easy.  When someone hurts you, what is your initial response?  To be angry?  To defend yourself vigorously?  To strike back?  To seek revenge?   All of those are very "natural" responses - from our sinful nature.  When we become a Christian, a process of transformation begins.  God's spirit dwells within us and we become a new creation. 

2 Corinthians 5:16-18 (NIV)  So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:

(Also read Romans 7 & 8, Galatians 5 & 6, Ephesians 2, and Colossians 2 & 3.)

When we make a decision to follow Christ, we do not become instant saints with no further desire to sin.  We have to resist sin and seek forgiveness when we fail.  We have to tune our ears to God's Word and the Holy Spirit's promptings instead of Satan's siren song.  As we grow in our faith and our walk with Christ, the signs of the sinful nature will decrease more and more and the fruit of God's Holy Spirit will become more and more evident in our lives.  

 Galatians 5:16-26 (NIV)  So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law. 

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

As a new Christian, when we are hurt by others, we may still find ourselves lashing out impulsively, and then feeling convicted in our heart and knowing it was not a Christ-like response.  As we gain a bit more control and grow as a Christian, we might resist the strike back impulse and appear to be turning the cheek fairly well.  But maybe our internal emotions are raging and we're asking God to STRIKE THEM DOWN!  Can anyone relate?   Eventually, as the fruit of the Spirit continues to increase in our lives, we will feel forgiveness, compassion and love for the person.  

I have not reached a point where my emotions are so well controlled that I don't feel the hurt when someone "strikes me on the cheek".  But I am gaining discipline in not being provoked to a verbally angry reaction, and feelings of love and compassion are more quickly outweighing anger and discord.   

Recently, there was a situation in which I felt like I'd been struck on the cheek by a Christian friend.  That same person felt they'd been struck on the cheek by me.  My effort to make peace failed.  I tried again and got no response at all.  I needed the help of another Christian friend to talk it through.  My reaction was not anger as much as it was self-hatred.  I temporarily allowed the real enemy (Satan) to throw me into feelings of being unlovable, worthless, and a failure as a peacemaker... That wasn't a Godly response.  I didn't have peace.  I was listening to the lies of the enemy and allowing it to temporarily control my emotions.  But it didn't last long - because I know my SAVIOR and the TRUTH and I had the help of Godly friends.

The next time I saw the friend who felt wronged, I expressed my love and my apology for the 3rd time.  This came immediately following a sermon on how to deal with dissension in the church.  (Ouch!  At least I know that the sermon was already in the works well before our conflict arose.)  This time I didn't add any "defense" - just an "I love you and I'm sorry".   This time peace-making was achieved.  My apology was accepted, and I even received an "I'm sorry too" with an "if" attachment ("if I contributed in any way".)   I can tell you that I don't think there is any "if" about it, but I didn't feel any anger that she wasn't truly  acknowledging a role in the "dissension".   It was OK that I was the one to initiate an apology each time and that it took three times before it was accepted.  

The situation was hard and wearisome, both for me, and for my friend who walked through it with me.   However, another aspect of Christianity is that we are to REJOICE in suffering and be THANKFUL at all times, even when we're being tried and tested.  So, I choose to see this as a good experience - one in which I had to exercise my spiritual muscles and overcome my enemy's effort to defeat me.  Next time, I expect to be stronger and quicker in resisting Satan's lies and in having internal peace.

If you haven't figured it out, life is a spiritual battle - and this physical life is only the beginning that precedes an eternity of life with or without God.  I choose WITH.  Even without the eternity in heaven, I am SURE that my life on earth includes more love and joy because of the hard choices such as turning the other cheek.  I am not angry, resentful, or bitter.  I don't need to be proven "right".  I do feel peace, joy, and love, as well as a sense of satisfaction that I was stretched through the trial and am stronger as a result.   Seems like a much better outcome to me than if I'd been unwilling to turn the other cheek.