Purpose for the Pain

I have no doubt that God is allowing me to suffer and struggle with depression for a purpose. I also know that there was a purpose in my mother's emotional suffering. God's strength is made perfect in our weakness.

In 2 Corinthians 12: 7-10, Paul says,
"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Paul asked God to take away the "messenger of Satan" that was tormenting him. Although God's answer was no, there was a purpose - because God's power was made perfect in weakness.

Life is difficult for EVERYONE. When we see children of God persevering, because of their faith, in spite of their pain, in spite of their difficult circumstances, in spite of undeserved persecutions, we see the power of God being made perfect in weakness. It gives us examples to increase our faith, to encourage us that we can also persevere in spite of our own pain.

I really resist writing when I'm in the midst of the "pit", but I'm glad that David, the author of the Psalms, did not resist. He poured out his cries, his complaints, his depth of need. When I'm at my weakest, I turn to the Psalms for encouragement. David talks about being in despair. He talks about the "slimy pit" and he talks about God's rescue. It speaks to our own needs and encourages us that God will be faithful to us, just as He was to David. And just as reading the scripture can encourage us, hearing about another fellow believer's victory over their "thorn" can encourage us.

God's work in this world is not done. He continues to move in our lives and work miracles on our behalf, according to our faith. It would be easier if we never suffered and needed to exercise faith for a miracle. But it wouldn't be better. Easier isn't always better. There is a purpose for whatever "thorn" you have in your life. God teaches us through suffering. God wants us to place our complete dependence on Him. He wants us to believe Him for a miracle. And He wants to be glorified through the providence of that miracle.

In recent weeks, I've felt such a sense of being trapped, and confined, in a painful frame of mind. I could imagine myself within an encasement of hard rubber with my arms pinned to my sides just barely having room to push against my confinement. I push and push, but there is almost no "give" to the encasement. I can hardly breathe. I feel the need to scream - but don't allow myself because I can't let anyone know just how badly I feel... Not a pleasant image...Today, in my time with God, He gave me a new image, an image of His power slicing through that hard rubber encasement like the sharpest knife and freeing me in an instant. My arms were no longer trapped, but could extend out and be lifted up in praise! I write this post as a response to that image.

I don't know how long I may continue to struggle with depression. I don't know whether my emotional healing will be complete in an instant or whether there will be multiple times (as there have been to this point) when I will have to humbly cry out to God to rescue me. What I DO know is that there is a purpose to my suffering, that God is sufficient to meet my need, that God will give me strength for whatever He requires of me and He will use my pain to demonstrate His power in my weakness. I trust Him.

I also KNOW that, in the mental image that God showed me, the sword that was slicing through my confinement is the Word of God.

Ephesians 6:16-18
In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Hebrews 4:11-13
Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience. For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

Prayer for today:
Merciful God, I thank you for the breath of fresh air you gave me today - for the image of your Word slicing through my captivity and freeing me to worship You in fullness and perfect physical and mental health. I know that is a vision of what will come to pass as I study your Word. I thank you also for the suffering, because I know it has a purpose in teaching me to depend more completely on You. I know there are so many others suffering emotionally and feeling trapped and confined, needing to scream for help, but hiding their pain. I pray that as I persevere, read your Word, and follow your direction in my life, that I may be an encouragement to someone else as they see your strength made perfect in my weakness. Thank you for your mercies that are new every morning. Amen.